I listened to an NPR piece the other day discussing how 20% of Americans don’t use the internet at all.  I’d gamble that fewer than half of those who do sign on are regular readers of blogs.  Right now the common wisdom online is that it’s fewer than 1% of a site’s visitors who participate in the conversation.  Well, that fewer than 1% has become my friends of late–and let me just tell you, that’s not the real world.

It’s actually the fake world.  We can talk all we want about developing real relationships with real people, but for every 250 subscribers or social network add’s, I’d say that a half dozen are people I seek out when I need a friend.  I believe that the internet is fantastic for commerce, the world is flat, information is available, yada yada yada…but of the 35 people in my speed dial only one of them is on Twitter.  And that’s my girlfriend, who didn’t have an account before we met (thank you Elizabeth for being a separate voice!).  I hope I don’t rub off on her too much.

Okay, so it’s new media all right.  Well it’s only a matter of time before my friends move there?  Or hell if I update my speed dial, there’s at least one internet friend I’d like to add to that speeddial.

But those forms of communication aren’t really making me happier.  They satiate, they distill, they occasionally satisfy…but can I honestly say I wouldn’t be better off in a town of 1,000 with a handful of very strong relationships?

I love technology–I love it for its freedoms and its empowerment and its immediacy.  But I’d rather it be a footnote to my relationships, not the content.

So what’s this have to do with perspective?  If I want to escape from the echo chamber of many of the relationships I’m now developing, I need to get away.  If I want to build the same types of relationships I’ve always sought, I need to probe deeper than 140 characters.  That means real time with real people.  (That doesn’t mean networking or groups of dozens of people–it means real time with a few people.)

Travel will be a start.  I need to be reminded of the rest of the world.  And throughout I need to remember the type of relationships I really need.  I’m not going to find them with more people, I’m going to find them and maintain them with a special few.

Highlights:

In no particular order, these are the things that a few years from now when I look back I’ll want to remember.  All of them were things that in some way shaped who I was this year.  If one of these relates to you, thank you for being a part of that memory.

• AwayFind – building a web application
  
• Book Clubs – learning so much, even more from the people
• Crested Butte – Galt’s Gulch, and the start of a tradition for me
• DC Tech Community – like-minded geeks and entrepreneurs
• Dinner Parties – company from my different circles, at the house
• Dover MA – a good place to be from
• Four Hour Workweek – I should shut up about it, but this book changed me
  
• Surrogate Girlfriend – Having a best friend and good company

 Hopes

Every year my hope is some cross between balance and ambition–running more, entertaining more, saving, developing a more routine schedule, etc.  But over the course of the year reasons that I can’t predict tend to change my focus.  Still, as of now here are some things I hope for:

For my sanity and social life:

• A sense of completion on a daily basis
• To buy fewer books (and better figure out what I should be reading for fun and work)
• A trip abroad
• To entertain every other month

For my work and dreams:

• 5000 users of AwayFind by 2009
• To be invited to speak at a national, non-local conference
• To have someone else handle the majority of sales and proposals for SET projects
• To blog (or have someone else working with me to blog) three times per week (mostly on technotheory.com)

As I started this list I didn’t think it would turn out to be so specific.  Do you have any specific hopes for 2008?

The first half of this summer was filled to the gills with activities and general merriment. It was light but fun. The second half has been about big decisions, planning ahead, and a slight ennui from the ephemeral. That is, busyness is no path to fulfillment. And I’m itching to grow or grow something.

I have four software products I would give anything to launch, one of which I’m seriously moving toward. I’m very curious if Tim Ferriss’ ideas for automation will be sufficient tools for me to make my existing business mobile enough to spend serious time living abroad. And then there’s determining how much time to spend in the various dance, tech, book, and business communities where I spend my evenings…

For anyone who doesn’t believe that it’s possible to reach out and make something happen, I think they’re just not looking hard enough for the pieces. The trickiest puzzles have the most pieces and it takes a lot of trial and error to identify the right ones. It’s tempting to just stick with the parts that are already formed, especially when they present a nice picture. But searching around for those other pieces, and putting them together seems so much more fulfilling to me. For a long time I’ve been coasting and some changes are in order

So here’s my commitment right now. I’m going to work on two things: to launch a fairly involved software productivity application and to make my existing business completely mobile. It’s not impossible. I hope you’ll consider what decisions will help you to piece together a more fulfilling picture…

Let me make this clear–I’m not talking about attempting things and failing or missing a deadline. I’m not talking about New Year’s Resolutions or personal challenges that don’t pan out after a few weeks. And I’m not talking about times when there is a psychological or societal pressure to say something. I’m talking about when things are cut and dry–when you say you’re going to do something and the person you say it to has every reason to genuinely believe that you’ll do it.

In general the things that bug are me are really small, like saying that one’s going to call (without any prodding on your end for them to) or canceling multiple times for reasons like, “I’ve had a long day.” If I’m making time for someone then I know they’re making time for me, and I’m not going to mess up their day even though it’s not convenient for me.

One of my all time pet peeves is when I’m networking with people who want something from me, be it my own business or access to my clients, and then they don’t respond to calls or emails. One minute they say they want something but then another they don’t have the decency to follow through a simple gesture. I’d rather they didn’t waste anyone’s time. On more than one occasion I’ve contacted someone to do business with them, but without making that the explicit purpose of getting in touch. Then if they didn’t follow up then that’s the end (without letting them know I had a great opportunity for them)–I don’t want to work with someone who isn’t decent enough as a human being.

And yet sometimes there are much worse situations. Even worse than those who don’t return simple gestures are the ones who say they’ll do work and then don’t deliver. No, it’s not that they’re late, but that the problem never gets solved or they disappear (regardless of if they’re getting paid). It’s beyond my imagination how someone could accept a paid responsibility and, while under favorable terms and circumstances, simply fail to deliver.

In the middle of this entry a friend called and we talked about whether this is about commitment or about general integrity. About how people don’t do things for the right reasons and fail to follow through on societal norms. I do have issues with people who are not generally the ones I could rely on…but what’s much worse is when circumstances are clearcut–it’s not a norm, and it’s something that someone actually said they’d do.

I think we live in a world where our connections tend to be shallower. Where we meet so many people that failing with a few is acceptable. In the past, there was pressure to follow through because communities were smaller and most of our ties were to the same people for longer periods of time. It’s unfortunate–because it just makes it easier to get away with breaking commitments and having less integrity.

It’s not bad, it never really gets bad. But being in a service business feels precarious at times. Got to come up with a new plan for selling. Got to make the processes faster and more reliable. Got to keep everyone happy. Got to figure out how to grow, and ask yourself why at the same time.

I guess the goal as a businessowner is to try to get things to exist without you–so that the business becomes a thing unto itself and you’re not required for every decision and every action. But the scary thing with that, at least for me, isn’t the giving up control. With trust, I can let go of things. The scary thing is that each time you hand away one more responsibility you have a little more commitment and dependence. They trust you for there to be work and you trust them to complete it. And both of those areas can get hairy…they just haven’t yet for me. Well, maybe they have, but their names aren’t going to mentioned in this piece…

My luck has gone well for a long time. Keith and David and Kevin and Kate and Shauna are people I’m so comfortable with. I wonder who will be with me a year from now, two years from now, five years from now.

I had a conversation with Moe the other day about my skills and what I’d do if I weren’t with SET. He felt that design and interface were some of my strengths. But that’s not the whole truth. If I were working for another company I think I’d have to try to find a way to take Keith with me because of how fantastic his eye is for things. It’s amazing how having some people around make you seem that much stronger…

Anyhow, all this is just to say that having a good month is a good thing, but getting further into business is a heavy one. There’s weight to my actions and sometimes it’s amazing just how real things are. I’m very happy to be with the people I am, but I’ve also been lucky for a long time. I guess I’ll just have to follow their lead and keep on swinging…

So this doesn’t sound particularly revealing–don’t we all want these things to some degree?  I think by getting a little more specific I can make more sense of this…maybe even learn something from using these two ideas as guides.

Let’s start with business. Note that I never just said “good” people, I want to work with “good, sharp” people.  Good people that are sharp inspire me to be creative and work hard.  Working for oneself may sound glamorous, but I know I at least perform best when there are people around who I admire and who are also working toward a similar goal.

As for the goal–making a difference–I think my definition is not the standard one.  It’s more along the lines of “making a splash” than “saving the world.”  For better or worse, my contribution (if one could call it that?) to the world is likely going to be in technology or business.  So, recognizing that fact, I’d like to focus on the last word–difference.  I don’t want to do what most technology businesses are doing, which is supporting existing technology.  Twenty years from now I hope that most of my career is not about…

• Supporting someone else’s software or network
• Working with and impacting a group of fewer than a dozen people
• Technology that improves technology so that technology can create more technology

I could go on.  But more importantly, I want to make sure that my impact on technology and business is about PEOPLE.  I want to improve people’s lives, not just give them more opportunities to work.  That’s the difference I want to make.

Well anyhow, that was a bit of a tangent, but I want to make a difference with and for people, not for abstract entities, not even for businesses.  I want to help businesses as a by product, but I want it to always be on a micro level (the people) more than a macro level (the company, ROI).

So what about applying these principles to my friends and social life?  Well, that I haven’t quite figured out–I don’t think it’s as important that there’s one answer.  But it’s almost summer time, two of my favorite people are in town for a few months, and I intend to fully enjoy the company.  And maybe a make difference with them.  Or something like that.

Last year I redid this blog and started technotheory, hired two new people, refocused the business on Office design as much as Office training. And personally I joined two new book clubs and resolved to hold some sort of party once per month. Here I am in May of 2007 with all these new things to maintain that I still believe in, and I want to do so much more. I want to start a social group in DC that’s passionate about technology more in the way people are in the Bay Area. Next month I start a series of business-oriented classes with the Board of Trade. I want to hire more people. Oh, and I want to take guitar lessons, dance lessons, and an extended vacation. By the way, there’s that new Murakami book, The Four Hour Work Week, the new CS3 suite to play with, and…

This all sounds well and good except that I’m not really succeeding. I have given little time and energy to the two blogs. I haven’t found balance between managing employees and doing my own work. And neither our website nor our collateral explain the new mission of the company. And, most importantly, my revenue is not in line with the type of growth I’d like to see.

I’ve taken on so many things and, while my clients and friends haven’t been sacrificed, I’m not sure where I want to be in any of these areas. All I know is that I need to take these priorities and do one thing at a time, not all of them at once. The whole jack of all trades master of none may make for great conversation, but it doesn’t translate to money or satisfaction. And the more often you have to switch tasks, the longer it takes to finish any of them.

Every once in a while I read a post about starting a side business or following your dream. Those types of articles are inspiring but they really only apply to those who haven’t yet suffered from too much ambition creep. I think I need to do less. And, more importantly, I need to want to do less. Or at least until I’ve gotten more out of what I’m doing now.

The time management taught at business seminars is essentially designed to make you more materially productive… Once one project is finished–if you’ve allocated your time wisely–you’ll have time for the next…. But this simply turns up the speed on the treadmill of our lives–and, to the applause of those around us, we run faster. The reward for those who “manage” time well is usually just more to do.

I remember when I first began getting clients and I thought that by offering them ways to save time they’d be able to work less, maybe even spend more time with their families. But that assumption was naive–very rarely do people work less just because they can work smarter. I certainly haven’t.

A few nights ago I was looking through an old favorite, Alain de Botton’s The Consolations of Philosophy, and I came across a great quote from Goethe that he had apparently offered to Schopenhauer when confronted with his consistent unhappiness:

If you want to get pleasure out of life
You must first attach value to the world.

My reading of this is that one has to assign value to certain things in life, otherwise there will be very little pleasure. This may sound obvious, but it raises the question of whether one is valuing the correct things and thus allowing one to enjoy them. In the same book, it discussed Nietzsche’s complete change in both philosophical perspective and overall personal outlook after a vacation where he witnessed just how rich life could be. Nietzsche had shifted his values to enable him to make life not only fulfilling but somewhat more pleasurable.

I have a lot more reading to go, and certainly many decisions of my own to make. But if there’s one thing that’s painfully clear to me it’s that next year I’m going to not only relax a little more but enjoy doing a little less…

I’ve thought a lot about the different avenues to getting the absolute sharpest folks–finding more contractors, offering equity compensation, taking out loans, giving up, etc. I really hate being young in a small business, and also I struggle with staying optimistic while I take on various risks.

In business they say that “cash is king.” It’s something that means nothing until you’ve got liabilities and account receivables–a fancy way of saying that you owe people money and others owe you money. I guess I’m still doing all right in that game, but the risk I’ve avoided in the last couple years is being in the red–once I knew what it was like to be profitable I lost interest in taking on bigger risks, at least expensive ones.

Well it’s time again to revisit that approach. How else am I going to get the business from where it is to where it needs to be? It’s back to the drawing board again…

Both of them were offered jobs by their larger clients. While I won’t be leaving SET Consulting (job offer or not), I see why I wouldn’t mind working with my largest client–the people and the challenges. There are a lot of sharp people I get to work with, and the projects not only take thought but make a large impact. It’s always a pleasure to work with them.

It got me thinking about what ultimately makes me happy at work. I’m one of those people who enjoys so many different types of work, so long as there’s value in it. I enjoy solving problems, writing, marketing, developing software, managing people, working with finances, etc… I imagine I’d be happy in a number of other professions or back in school, as well. So what is it that I enjoy?

To go back to why I could theoretically join that client–it’s the people and the challenges. Nothing thrills me more than being able to work with and for people who understand things quickly, confidently act upon them, and consistently execute well. It almost doesn’t matter the line of work, but I like being around these kinds of people. Because then I’m motivated to be one of them.

In my last post I wrote about 37signals, that amazing company with just a few sharp people who are making an incredible difference. I can’t say I’m not jealous. But it’s not about their fame and fortune–it’s about being part of a team that’s so passionate and expert. I work with fantastic people, and while they’re very proficient at what they do, they’re not all as steadfastly motivated as myself. Perhaps it’s unrealistic to hope for that…but that would be my dream–to be part of something like that–to create something like that…and maybe even to make such a difference.

I guess I shouldn’t forget that there is another reason to be on my own. People and challenges will make my days rewarding…but in the long run I do need to feel I’m making some difference…and I guess working for myself has more potential to fill that purpose.

Clearly I want to stick with what I’m doing…but I need to find a way to get the best people in the right places. Maybe I’d even find the work to pay for them…