Growing slowly

I’ve spent more weekend evenings at Glen Echo Park than anywhere else in the last 7.5 years. There are the special events where lots of old friends come out. There are the slower nights where you get to meet new people. There are the chilly winter nights and steamy summer evenings…but I pretty much know what to expect. It’s always been that way.

Driving back, though, has been quite different. For the first few years we would always go to a diner (and talk about the merits of Hollywood vs. Savoy styling until the wee hours while slurping down Silver Diner ice cream “health shakes”). There were the times I had to drive people back to Catholic, to Georgetown, to Arlington… but more often in recent years I would just hop on the phone. For a time there were people I wanted to wish goodnight. Then there was the friend on the west coast who I wouldn’t worry about calling at midnight. But tonight was quiet.

I got to thinking about past summers and what my ride back was like last year. It was very different. I had just bought the new car but not much else was the same. Or was it?

There was an obvious difference. We’re all familiar with how loved ones come in and out of our lives–and how their impact is hardly subtle. But otherwise not too much has changed.

Each year at this dance I’ve known a few more people and maybe dressed a little different…but the change was gradual. Most things in my life have also progressed one step at a time. Sure, the business has grown, at different times I’ve spent more or less time exercising, reading, entertaining, etc…but there was no metamorphosis. It’s not like going from high school to college or to the real world–adulthood is more gradual. Or at least the last year has been–dog, car, and house were already part of the picture. What else was there?

I’m not that old and that kind of makes me wonder. Many of my close friends have changed jobs, changed cities, gone back to school…but I’ve just been taking little steps. Or maybe not. I’ve taken some big steps–but what strikes me is that I’m still roughly the same person. Nothing has shocked or changed me in a while. I keep adding things but my interests are roughly the same.

It kind of makes me think of that Rockwell Church song, which I guess I already quoted, where they sing:

how long have you known
how long has it been
when did i stop growing out
when did i start growing in

I suppose that’s what it’s about–at a certain point you don’t keep changing so much every year and that’s okay. Or maybe I just need a big change? Who knows…