We always seem to want more

I went to a lovely Restaurant Week dinner tonight at Taberna del Alabardero and it furthered something I’ve been thinking about for a while–I want a lot more or a lot better. And I’m not sure I like the trend.

More casual drinks. More accessories. More music. Better food. Better flight schedules. Better alcohol. Better neighborhoods. Better vacations. Finer clothing. Fancier cars. Faster internet. Bigger televisions.

With the exception of faster internet, I’m not convinced that I’m that much better off with these things. I think over time that it just makes more wants seem like needs. It’s like an addiction or a dulling of the senses…but I’ll get to that part later.

During restaurant week you get to have a really nice four-course meal at a fancy place for $30. It’s not a bad deal–at Taberna del Alaberdero, for instance, $30 is the price of their less expensive entrees. But the price came to about $60/person (for four) once a bottle of wine and a gratuity (20%) were added. Do I regret it? Heck no, their food was marvelous. But three years ago I wouldn’t have dared spend that much going out–or at least abstained from imbibing.

Half of those reading this are probably thinking “$60 for a good meal is totally worth it–I’ve spent much more!” and the other half are thinking, “$60 is enough for about 5 meals out at a regular place, or a week’s worth of food at home!” And I don’t know what to say; the concepts of “disposable income” and “enjoying yourself while you’re young” don’t seem to offer too much guidance on these sorts of issues…and there are lots of less expensive things that are plenty nice.

When I was 22 (and two years out of school), I had some of the same friends I do now. We rarely ordered drinks or appetizers when we went out. We didn’t go from place to place with $10 “cocktails.” I ate a lot of bagels (ok, I still do.) I thought about what it meant to go out swing dancing with a $15 cover–and sometimes stayed home for that reason. I had no car payments (though I had a car). My cellphone bill was much lower, and I paid attention to minutes.

So what’s changed? Eventually we all started ordering a drink or two–and domestic beers were passed up for imports (, mojitos, and Grey Goose cocktails). Sushi and tapas became common destinations. People took elaborate trips. And convenience trumped price.

I think part of the reason why all this stuff comes to my attention is that I live in College Park, and have friends that aren’t fitting these trends. Spending a night out around here versus Dupont Circle is like comparing a chicken to a border collie–they’re just not corroborable (yes, that’s a word). And having ventured the last two nights to the latter neighborhood just makes me question if one’s better, if my senses are dulling to things that once were enough, if I’m at the risk of setting myself up to want things that just aren’t necessary.

I guess the 20’s are kind of like alcohol. We’re not really sure what we like at first and it all just seems intense. Over time we try a few things, and eventually enjoy it. We begin to understand why some things are priced as they are, and are willing to pay for them. Eventually it’s not even just about the sensations, but the context plays a role, and we understand that has a value, too. And then we get addicted.

Well neither are my addictions just now. But it all seems worth some thought…