Photographs, and the recent lack thereof

It’s both interesting and sad how many photos I haven’t taken in the last couple years. This week in St. Michael’s I had my camera in tote the whole time, but didn’t snap a single shot. Much of the weather and scenery were beautiful. So why?

A photo is one view of a memory. I don’t believe it captures it, just that it offers a vantage point, one that doesn’t age and transmogrify like our mental memories do. And for some reason for me lately, most of the times when a camera has been handy I just didn’t feel that vantage point was worth holding onto. And I can’t tell if that’s a matter of circumstance, opinion, or just plain a depressing thought. (though, as a side, I still write just as much)

For those not familiar with my initial foray into photography, it all began with Emily. We dated for a long time (in high school) and all I have to look back upon it is her high school photograph. When I realized that, I vowed to hold onto more images of the people and parts of life that mattered most. That translated into thousands of photographs from relationships, family, dancing, traveling, and pets. And in the process I just fell in love with photography. One of the books that had a big effect on this was David Finn’s How to Look at Everything; by always carrying a camera I was seeing so much more with not only my lens but my eyes.

I’ve never been a particularly visual person, and if you met me yesterday I probably wouldn’t recognize you today; it just takes more for an image to stick with me. Photography started to change the way I observed things. Art, nature, dance, and people held another layer of meaning as I began to take in more detail.

But here I am without too many pictures to share from the last couple years. And I wonder if it’s just that I don’t care to hold onto these images…or if I’m no longer recognizing the detail and beauty that I did when I was always shooting?

I do see some art forms more clearly (or at least discriminatingly). For instance, this past year I’ve studied and tried out quite a bit of graphic design elements. That’s changed the way I look at a great deal of media. But it’s not personal like photography (at least not how I approach it).

I don’t have a real answer. But today I was very excited to take some pictures of Dagny fetching by the bay. And didn’t. It’s a shame, and hopefully I’ll figure this out.

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Published:
12.28.06 / 5pm
Category:
Reflections
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