Touch, Dance, and Confidence

I recently enjoyed a posting on teaching dance to kids that Kate shared with me. The posting discussed some of the common benefits of teaching dance as an alternative activity for youth, but in particular it pointed out how dance is a safe way for kids to find touch:

At their core, the teens I know crave touch, they crave contact, they crave intimacy. But they are also often confused and frightened, unsure of how to ask for what they really want, afraid of losing control or of being violated. The lesson of ballroom dance, whether it has its origins in the tropics or in Viennese salons, is that with practice and with respect we can learn to touch each other safely. We learn to move not only in response to our own needs, but in response to the needs of our partner.

As someone who has taught parter-dance (swing, salsa, ballroom, etc) to children & adults, danced for about seven years, and had many a conversation on the topic…I must say the posting is right on the money. Not only does dance help to create intimacy (within a safety of limits defined by the nature of the dance), but through time it can really help to foster confidence in many social circumstances, whether they involve touch or not.

When I began dancing I was somewhat comfortable with touch. Fast forward a year or two and I became much touchier than most of the guys I knew. Even more, I became more aware of the presence I could put forth in various settings. By offering a physical language of communication, dance can dramatically bolster people’s comfort-level in any social environment.

Touch is a connecting force, a basic need, and a way to offer & receive comfort…but dance is one of the few places where we’re required to touch. As the posting pointed out, however, (certain types of) dance also sets limits. Again, a valuable lesson for us all.

I haven’t written too much about dance lately…but along with writing and technology, it’s probably my most defining interest. Developing comfort with touch and confidence in social settings are just two of its benefits. If you haven’t been out swing dancing, give it a try. It’s amazing how profound of an effect it can have on all sides of life…

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Published:
3.13.06 / 12am
Category:
Dance, Reflections
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