Archive for 2005

• 5.19.05 "When People Become Real" is posted in Friendship, Reflections

In any sort of relationship (friendship, work, romantic) it seems that there’s a point where people become more real: multi-dimensional, fallible, human. When we were younger it seemed like all of our friends knew everything about us. As time went on, fewer of our sides were as quickly disclosed–both out of convenience and choice. Still, when new people enter our lives there seems to be some time when they become more real…and then we either get closer or resist. After all, we’re not interested in everyone’s “problems”…nor do we wish to entrust them with ours. (more…)

• 5.4.05 "Aging in Life" is posted in Quote/Lyric, Reflections

As Nathan Church Hubbard put it, there’s a point in our life where we stop growing up and start growing in. We all like to think of our contexts (”where we are in life”) determining our relative age, but I’m beginning to see how experience makes one older. Context can be purely arbitrary–wine in place of Coke, slacks over khakis, the Post’s Outlook rather than USA Today’s Life. Context could also be symbolic–close friends getting engaged, metabolism not being what it used to be, parents no longer chipping in on bills. But there are certain things that truly age us (toward sagacity?), issues that are real and hard to dismiss, like dependence & independence, the growing array of responsibilities, relationships come & gone, and tragedy & loss. (more…)

• 3.10.05 "Trusting Others’ Opinions" is posted in Rant, Reflections, Relationships

Perhaps the greatest threat to a relationship is a lack of respect in another’s opinion. The opposite is also true: being able to truly value someone else’s insight on critical topics opens a whole new dimension of communication. Be it a close friend, a relative, a coworker, or a lover–this sort of trust in communication is the building blocks from which relationships can blossom. But it’s so often a missing piece.What’s amazing about relationships is not the patterns of what’s present, but how often particular elements are missing. It’s not so silly though: we seek different forms of connection, and definitions for “friend” or “lover” are as varied as DC weather in March. Some friendships are about convenience, some are about late night conversations, and some are only as long lasting as a given team has games. Other relationships may go deeper, but I believe it’s still somewhat arbitrary which good traits are present. We all know of marriages that were missing seemingly obvious traits…some of which failed and some of which keep trucking along. (more…)