The Depth of Friendship

I can’t put a name to the emotion I felt when I saw Andrew walk up to me at Logan Airport. He was coming back to Boston and I was leaving for DC–so we’d planned to meet up at a restaurant in the terminal. When I saw him in his slightly metrosexual overcoat and his smirk reminiscent of many a sardonic quip I couldn’t help but to feel excited, proud, curious, and satisfied. It was somewhere between a nostalgic father and a gloating boyfriend. It was a great feeling, but one hard to grasp when applied to friendship.

You know me and my relationship banter–but this year my stories haven’t been with one girlfriend but with a few close friends. I used to think that certain experiences and emotions weren’t possible outside of relationships, but I’m lucky enough to see how much can happen with friendships.

A couple of the memories that come to mind, things that were given to me over the years:

• when Chris told me “I love you.” He and I used to go for runs late at night and work out relationship troubles…we got very close and no guy had said that to me before.
• when I brought Bobby to meet up with a group of high school friends and he’d talk to the group but only make eye contact with me. Bobby and I have been very close since ninth grade. He often makes little comments about our unique roles in each other’s lives.

The way that Andrew and I, Bobby and I, and to some degree Cauleen or Jenn and I talk these days is just on a different plane. Part of it’s the exclusivity that we have with each other to certain topics, part of it’s the trust and comfort level that comes with time, part of it is even the mutual deep respect that we have for each other’s paths…but I think it’s more.

The experience with Andrew at the airport was different. Or when he told me he got into Stanford Law I was so “proud.” When Bobby would share stories I felt a part of them. Some times life feels like a game of rote–a mandatory back-and-forth without a need for true interest or an ability for clear insight to be gained. But other times the emotions are more personal and firsthand. I overuse the term “living vicariously”–but that’s what it is, only much more real.

Such are my thoughts on a year of great friendships. Part of me wants to write a little blurb about people like Andrew, Justin, Bobby, Jenn, Cauleen, Chiles… or even some of the people I’ve worked with who impress the heck out of me and are as dear as my personal friendships.

I’m not so sure that I’ve captured my feelings on all of this. After a week with Cauleen where I had the strange feeling of getting to know someone after having not seen them for a while…and realizing that I already knew them so well, I’m just trying to put my thumb on the types of experiences I’ve been lucky enough to experience this year. I guess the only thing I can say for sure is thank you.