First Corollary of the Bob and Jared Camp Girl Philosophy

In eleventh grade Bobby and I realized why it was we sought outside of our high school for relationships. We came up with a theory that went like this: we knew everyone at FHS and didn’t necessarily love what we saw (not that we were any better, mind you), but in the world of camp, youth group and other towns we didn’t know the people all that well. So when we met someone and didn’t know all the details we naturally filled in what we didn’t know with details we liked. Make sense?Think of it this way: in high school (or maybe still) when you met someone new you got all excited and started thinking how perfect they were and how you were going to spend the rest of your life with them because they were the answer to everything… but when you already knew someone it was hard to have that romantic (and naïve) experience. New people were an easy way meet this ideal. At least that was what Bobby and I felt.

But it’s been a long time since high school and I’d like to think I’m a little less naïve and idealistic. Still, there’s something to be said for the above theory. Last night in a conversation with Yv we came up with a corollary about getting excited early on. She said something to the effect of:

“When dates get so excited so early I don’t trust it because I know that they can’t possibly know me well enough to be that excited.”

To me, it’s a turnoff when they’re so interested without knowing much about me. But more than that, it speaks to a change in how we approach relationships as we get older—love at first sight and instant romance is less of the norm. And even if we wanted such an experience, guys and girls alike have learned one way or another (for better or worse) to shun the instant love. If you haven’t been in one of those blown-out-of-proportion-in-one-week-and-then-fall-flat-on-your-face relationships then you’re lucky, and likely the exception.

So what’s the moral behind all this: get to know people and be careful how you play your cards.

Unfortunately it’s not so easy, because people will judge things one way or another, regardless of how one tempers their emotions (both visibly and internally). I do believe there’s something to be said for being careful and not diving in instantly. When the right person comes along then you’ll know and, a few weeks/months in, maybe then all rules will be off. But play it safe and don’t forget our old theory, which is still puttering on.

I miss camp. I guess Cancun will have to suffice….