It’s not just the First Step, there’re many more…

They say that the first step is the biggest. They say that getting yourself to act and to give it a shot in the real world is the most difficult part. But I don’t know that I agree.

Nearly everything we do follows a cycle, and getting to the next round may be more difficult than starting at the bottom. You see, even if it’s a dream that we’re chasing, sometimes we have to realize that the dream changes.

Imagine that you wanted to become a swing dancer. So you’d go out and take the first step, which is likely to attend a series of dance classes. But then you’ll need to practice or social dance; after all, your dream wasn’t to become a mediocre dancer that people don’t enjoy dancing with.

So now the next step is to dance more, practice more, sign up for another class. Maybe this works for you, or maybe it doesn’t. But, for the sake of the argument, let’s say you finally get to the point where you’re satisifed with your dancing: you feel good on the floor and people enjoy dancing with you. So now what do you do?

If you’re like most dancers you probably still want to get better. But now it’s not so easy. Now you have to work on improving your dance on your own because the lessons that are offered aren’t geared to the things you want to improve. You’ve developed a style of your own and you’re not interested in the mainstream. Suddenly taking the next step would require a lot of energy on your own.

And this same theory applies to other spheres of life:

In relationships we have a tendency to take difficult steps that result in a ton of emotion…and then think that we’re done. For instance, you ask her on a date and she says “yes.” You kiss him and he kisses you back. You bring up something she did that’s been plaguing you and she apologizes and explains how it was just a misunderstanding. Tension and release. Again and again. But aren’t you just waiting for that point where the two of you are in love and content with each other? Isn’t that the goal?

If that’s the goal then that’s why so many relationships end at this point. While most people expect a kiss or a mistake or two, the paths are not so clear cut for the bigger issues that come up once you’re already considered “a happy couple.” Just because you can make it six months doesn’t mean you can make it forever. No, now you have to bring up the tricky stuff: “I don’t like it when you talk to her all the time,” “Just once I wish you took me out instead of spending all your time with them,” “So, where are we headed?” The list go on, with the questions being just as difficult to ask as they are to answer. This step is far harder than putting your arm around her at the movies.

So, I’ve touched on hobbies and relationships. In my life that leaves one more area: work. Depending on what you do, you may or may not have to continually change in your work environment. But if your work is fairly static then you’re probably not out seeking your dreams. It’s okay though, I understand, I could use a little financial stability myself.

An example we can all relate to is the path that kids have to follow now-a-days. We need to get good grades in middle school to get into honors classes in high school. We need to do well in high school to get into a good college and maybe earn a scholarship. But what good is a Bachelor’s Degree, anyways? $30,000/year is less than we were paying just to attend school!

It goes on, both at the macro and the micro levels. I’m at the point where I need to take the next step with my business. Later on I’ll have to worry about adding another degree or two to my repertoire. But I’ll tell you one thing, the greater the career dream the more first steps there are.

Okay, I’ve said my piece. The point that I’m trying to address is that game only begins once we step onto the field. We don’t learn how to use subjects and verbs and then stop there: there’s just so much more to say. With the people and things that we spend our lives we need to learn a much greater vocabulary and we don’t get the privilege of stopping. Though our first step may have been difficult we often had helping hands. Now we’re in it on our own, trying to get a PhD or start a family. Perhaps it’s more rewarding. I think it is. But the next big step isn’t far away.