Approacing a New Year–the Good and the Bad

Sometimes it’s nice to be over and done with things, and other times it’s all about enjoying the ride. I have one more test for this term and I can’t say that I’d like things to go much longer…but I am in awe of how much has happened this semester, and the fact that in six months I’ll need to explore benefits when applying to jobs.

Every time things come to a completion and others start anew, there’s reason to reflect on it all: to enjoy the accomplishments and to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes. I feel like this semester I really had my head on straight in terms of priorities and time. But there are still some things to consider.

I’m writing this in the philosophy lab, after taking an exam. I’m tired, so I think the easiest and most direct way to write about the good and the bad is to just make a list. Please note that nothing on this list is purely circumstantial: i.e. getting laid off as a result of budget cuts isn’t my fault the same way as is my putting off a paper until the last minute. Now, without further ado…

The good

• I put my classes first and I can honestly say I did a good 85% of the homework this semester. I also spent a lot of time discussing the material (and other things) with my professors. Hopefully my grades will reflect this.
• I maintained close contact with the people that I hope to keep up with after I graduate.
• I was around for my floor a lot and was a good RA.
• I’ve spent more time with Kim than with anyone else, and our relationship makes it obvious how good a decision that is.
• I’ve kept up with the news and the world around me (for the first time in a while).
• I have everything I need.

The bad

• Despite many efforts to the contrary, I still procrastinated way too much.
• After the first month, I can count on one hand how many times I went to the gym here.
• I still reacted too quickly to things that needed more attention and perhaps a good night’s sleep.
• I haven’t read a book outside of class since this summer.
• It actually bothers me that I can’t have everything that I want.

Something weird happened as I began constructing this list: it became difficult to list the bad things. It’s not that I’m without fault, I’m as screwed up as the next guy…but what is difficult is separating the things that are my flaws from the things that are me. Nobody is perfect, and even the good things on this list might have been better spent on other activities.

As I think back to things that have bothered me for a long time, many of them are on the bad list, or would have been written there had I continued. For example, issues with my patience and immediate reactions seem like they’re parts of me as much as they’re my flaws. They need to be tweaked, but in many ways these qualities are responsible for my better attributes, like getting things done on my own and being honest.

Certainly I can’t articulate the fine line between when a quality is being used to one’s benefit or to their disadvantage…but I can recognize that some things aren’t as bad as they seem.

You see, I used to go through shoes one after another. Even after I stopped growing, I’d go through sneakers faster than toothbrushes. But right now they’re not growing anymore and I don’t need more pairs of shoes. I need to take care of the pairs I have, and wear appropriate shoes for the right occasions.

So that’s the lesson behind it all. Sometimes it’s not about changing into someone new, it’s about appreciating who you are and making the most of your good qualities…even though the bad will inevitably still plague you. I hope you’ll think of that as your finals come to an end and you approach the new year.