Lifelong Friends

My dad has a friend helping me to look for a job. I’ve never met him before and he’s gone way out of his way for me. I asked my dad about the guy and he said, “this is a great guy, a good friend; be good to him because I don’t have a lot of those.”

My dad’s 52 years old. I’m 19. How many of the friends I have right now will I call in 30 years when I need someone? How many people can I place in that category of “lifelong friend”?

There are people we spend a lot of time with every day, and there are friends we barely speak with regularly. Laura, my “best friend from high school,” and I haven’t talked in nearly four months. But that doesn’t matter. Is that because for the last six years we’ve never missed each other’s birthday and always been available for each other? Is it the sheer longevity of our friendship? What it’s endured? I don’t know.

It’s easy for me to say who of my high school friends fit into that category. There are some of them I probably will spend years without talking to, but I know I’ll always be welcome. But what about college friends? In two years here I’ve shifted my attention and people have certainly confused me.

I know of at least 3 or 4 people that I’ll always be able to count on, in addition to some of the great people I’ve met through dance. Though dance has certainly taken over a large part of my social life here at school, I’m not without people… however, as school draws to a close and everyone says their goodbyes I feel a little outside of the group.

Being an RA is different. I don’t enjoy being on unequal footing. Hanging out primarily with dancers instead of college students is atypical. Having skipped the whole “drinking, partying, craziness away from home” stage I’m in a different boat, but that’s not to say that I’ll be any better or worse off.

I just wonder who I’ll hang onto as the years go on. Having Bobby and Laura and such was my easy and accessible solution in high school. But things are different now. And it’ll only get more difficult.

I guess the lesson to be learned is that, in the end, you choose your friends and they don’t choose you. We don’t always accept each other’s choices, and somehow we end up with people we wouldn’t have predicted. But ultimately relationships take effort, even if it’s just getting a bite to eat once a week, a month, a semester…

We can only hope that our friends will return the favor and reciprocate our efforts. Because, sooner or later, we end up with a small group of lifelong friends. Who do you want in your life 30 years from now?