Motifs and Looking Back

Wouldn’t it be interesting to look back at yourself in stages, as many view you? By that I mean there are often months or years in between the times that others see you and consequently they witness much of the growth that you probably take for granted. It’s like when you look at your old papers or photographs and realize that the person in print is not same as the one in flesh – for better or for worse. But a more solid example, at least for me, is that of recurring events that seem to progress differently every time — Thanksgiving family dinners, yearly trainings, or the topic of this letter: Model United Nations simulations.

Since I was a sophomore in high school I’ve been going to 2-3 conferences every year, debating different topics in a similar fashion. Even more, the majority of the conferences I’ve attended have been at the Boston Park Plaza Hotel. The similar nature of these conferences has given me the opportunity to create my own Groundhog Day – living and consciously reliving the same events. And it’s not just an academic thing–it’s four days with students, all different and social in their own way. So how does one approach this situation?

Differently every time, at least for me. I don’t think that it’s intentional, but I’ve been a new person at every conference. Sure, sometimes I’ve had different goals for my social and committee participation, but I’ve basically wanted to meet people, have fun, and discuss the topics at hand (in that order?). And I do those things, but never in the same way.

Of interest to me, as always, is the interpersonal part. The way I’ve approached people at these conferences has changed a great deal. First of all, I’m no longer willing to go as far or trust as much of a new face. Second, if I come in with expectations then I’m no longer willing to quickly sacrifice them; I know what’s important to me. Third, I don’t really have expectations (I remember when I postponed a relationship a few years ago because I was going to HMUN: a mistake) Third, I no longer take things as personally. And with regards to keeping touch, a sexy body is soon forgotten while a sexy mind can resonate in memory for years.

Yeah, I’ll admit that these are things that I’ve been thinking about anyways. However, the short of nature of these conferences has served to highlight their differences: allowing me to focus on a limited number of actions. Perhaps I’m still reading a little too deeply, but I hope you’ll at least consider looking back in this manner. Or maybe going to a conference :). Either way, thank you for your time.