Feeling _That_ Way…

I should be writing about Bobby, but when she asked me what next I wanted to write about, this was the only thought on my mind. So as I sit here with her face opposite mine, here is what I’m thinking…

I haven’t had those feelings like I used to. You know, that initial antsy feeling you get when you’re out on a date and you really like the girl? Mind you, I haven’t been on a “date” in a while, but still I haven’t even come close to it. There are girls, people that I “have a chance with,” but there’s not that feeling. I was talking with Tim about this today, how things just don’t seem to compare. I haven’t cleaned my room for a girl in a long time. I haven’t gotten that haircut I’ve needed. It’s just been some time…

Why do I mention this now? Because as I sit here with an old friend/flame, and listen to her talk about her new relationship, oddly I don’t even hear it in her voice. She doesn’t have that light-headedness; she isn’t trying to express the ineffable. Perhaps it’s just because I’m not the person that should hear that. But I remember when everyone in my life knew that I was thinking about someone. I couldn’t not talk about it.

So while at times there may be that attraction, or even a want to impress, there isn’t that same giddiness overcoming me. It’s been a while. Perhaps it’d be kind of nice to have that. I don’t know, that’s my two cents for today. I hope you feel that way about someone… or that you do someday. *sigh*