She’s not for Me, this Week

Women are funny. I don’t really know what to make of them. I feel like I need to step away for a little while. I always tell myself that…but they’re so darn attractive ;). It’s been a little while since my last “serious relationship,” but what does that mean? They say that you seek out exactly what you didn’t find before, and that you’re prone to dismiss someone for things that were highlighted as problems in the last relationship. Yeah, that’s true: I’m a picky bitch right now.

So that’s what’s on my mind. It used to be that I’d get in my head that “she’s the one” and then go forward full-force. Now it seems to be a repetition of “she’s not the one,” based on the reason of the week. Do you work at it and move forward when there’s a big flaw to begin with? Or is the problem only going to escalate?

It’s as if there is no real opinion of someone but rather this made up image, concocted by a need to clarify even what’s not understood. This image wants to be easy to understand, easy to live with or push aside. It’s kind of like how it can be very difficult and awkward to maintain a friendship with a former significant other: first you convinced yourself to love them, then you made careful note of all their faults…and now you want to be somewhere in between; how does that work?

It would be nice to turn off judgment and toss preferences aside. But they always haunt and prevent one from just flowing. It’s a horrible cycle.

Please don’t misread this; I’m doing all right. I’m just amused and concerned at the way it all works for me. How’s it work for you? It’s all so weird, no?

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Published:
11.13.00 / 6pm
Category:
Reflections, Relationships
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